Losing my hair and losing my mind in Western New York

Friday, May 30, 2008

A letter recently received by Mr. Christian Toto

I have just been copied on this letter, thought you all would enjoy reading it:

From: The Bureau of Overt Manliness and Masculinity (President: Chuck Norris, CEO: Fred Thompson)

RE: Your recent article on PJM

Dear Mr. Toto,

The Bureau of Overt Manliness and Masculinity (BoOMM) regrets to inform you that due to your recent article on www.pajamasmedia.com, your Masculinity License has been revoked.

Unfortunately, breaches of The Code of Men (such as actually enjoying an Estrogen-fueled chick-flick like the Sex and The City movie) cannot be tolerated among manly heterosexual men. Therefore we have been forced to revoke your License.

There will be a review session, whereby you will have the opportunity to plead your case before our Manliness Judge, Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Be forewarned, Judge Joe does not take kindly to whining by plaintiffs, and has been known to require extensive rehabilitation before a male is allowed to regain his Masculinity License.

These rehabilitations can include any Manly task in The Code, up to and including several Feats of Strength (Administered and judged by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger), Attendance and Enjoyment of a Strip Show (hosted by Hugh Hefner), and several therapy sessions involving Fixing Things Around The House (taught by Bob Vila).

You are directed to return this letter, with your plea marked on the reverse side, along with your Masculinity License. You will be informed of your Review Date within 1 month of our receipt of your plea.

Should you choose to plead Not Manly, You will be then be referred to your local chapter of Code Pink to apply for membership in the Wimps United Social Society (WUSS).

Be advised that failure to respond to this letter or to enter a plea will result in a summary judgment of "Manliness Traitor" against you. Punishment for this crime usually constitutes our President (The Honorable Chuck Norris) forcefully removing your manhood with a roundhouse kick to the groin.

We anticipate your rapid reply.

The Bureau of Overt Manliness and Masculinity.


Sex and The City?



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