Losing my hair and losing my mind in Western New York

Friday, May 30, 2008

A letter recently received by Mr. Christian Toto

I have just been copied on this letter, thought you all would enjoy reading it:

From: The Bureau of Overt Manliness and Masculinity (President: Chuck Norris, CEO: Fred Thompson)

RE: Your recent article on PJM

Dear Mr. Toto,

The Bureau of Overt Manliness and Masculinity (BoOMM) regrets to inform you that due to your recent article on www.pajamasmedia.com, your Masculinity License has been revoked.

Unfortunately, breaches of The Code of Men (such as actually enjoying an Estrogen-fueled chick-flick like the Sex and The City movie) cannot be tolerated among manly heterosexual men. Therefore we have been forced to revoke your License.

There will be a review session, whereby you will have the opportunity to plead your case before our Manliness Judge, Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Be forewarned, Judge Joe does not take kindly to whining by plaintiffs, and has been known to require extensive rehabilitation before a male is allowed to regain his Masculinity License.

These rehabilitations can include any Manly task in The Code, up to and including several Feats of Strength (Administered and judged by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger), Attendance and Enjoyment of a Strip Show (hosted by Hugh Hefner), and several therapy sessions involving Fixing Things Around The House (taught by Bob Vila).

You are directed to return this letter, with your plea marked on the reverse side, along with your Masculinity License. You will be informed of your Review Date within 1 month of our receipt of your plea.

Should you choose to plead Not Manly, You will be then be referred to your local chapter of Code Pink to apply for membership in the Wimps United Social Society (WUSS).

Be advised that failure to respond to this letter or to enter a plea will result in a summary judgment of "Manliness Traitor" against you. Punishment for this crime usually constitutes our President (The Honorable Chuck Norris) forcefully removing your manhood with a roundhouse kick to the groin.

We anticipate your rapid reply.

The Bureau of Overt Manliness and Masculinity.


Sex and The City?



Labels: , , ,


Blogger Linda said...

FYI, real men with an open mind will watch Sex and the City. It's not a lifestyle, it's a movie. Mr. Toto knows what he's writing about.

Fri May 30, 05:26:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger The Weary Man said...

No Linda.

Real Men will give their wives a "Girl's Night out" to go watch it with their female friends. No Real Man willingly subjects himself to horrendous drivel like Sex and the City (the movie or the TV show).

Although my blog post above was done somewhat tongue-in-cheek, I seriously question Mr. Toto's taste and his judgment, in not only watching, but APPROVING of such rotten fare.

Fri May 30, 06:08:00 PM GMT-5  
Blogger Toto said...

This is all quite riotous. I appreciate the semi-tongue in cheekiness here, but do I need to trot out my manly bona fides (including being a life-long Yankees fan)because I like a TV show about women? Does a women need to revoke her womenly status should she watch "SportsCenter" ever night?

Fri May 30, 07:57:00 PM GMT-5  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It has nothing to do with manliness; The movie is utter crap. Poorly written, overly sentimental, and most importantly; nothing like the tv show in it's glory days.

Mon Jun 02, 04:49:00 AM GMT-5  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home